I knew from the time I was nine years old that I would probably become a writer. The funny thing is that if you had asked me at the age how I felt about writing, I would have told you that I hated it. Passionate. Emphatically. With every fiber of my being.

While it was true that I didn’t enjoy the process of it in those days, I did always like the outcome. And I somehow knew deep down that it was something I was innately good at. That love/hate push/pull that all writers experience was something I could relate to, even as a fourth grader.

I remember the moment it switched and I went from announcing clearly and loudly that I hated writing, to understanding its inevitability for me. I was when my teacher told us that we were all going to write pieces to submit to the Oregon Young Writers Conference (it seems like it still happens and is now called the Oregon Writing Festival). Based on those stories, they would pick one student from each school to attend. In a flash, I realized that I was a writer and that I would be going to that conference. And I did.

There have been a few times in my life when I have had that clear sense of knowing. An understanding that this is something I need to do and that it is the right choice for me. That was the first time. The next came when I was in high school and looking for where I might want to go to college. I got a promotional postcard in the mail for Whitman and just knew that that was where I was supposed to go.

The next was just after college. I flew to Philadelphia to visit my grandmother. When I got off the plane, I knew that the next right step was to move to Philly. It was absolutely clear in my mind.

The last time I had that intense sense of rightness was when I started Food in Jars. I didn’t have any kind of plan, but I knew that the name felt perfect and it seemed like the obvious next step after leaving Slashfood. I really didn’t have any idea at all of what it would become.

And now here I am. Sixteen years out from the last time I just knew the next step and the world is murkier than ever.