So my date on Wednesday and the resultant funk I experienced afterwards had sent me down the path of interior exploration and examination. Yet again.
First of all I realized that what this guy said to me has nothing to do with me. That it wasn’t personal. That I wasn’t being minimized for the perspective with which I approach the world. That it’s his stuff, not mine and while I wish him the best in dealing with that stuff, I shouldn’t, in any way, take it on me.
The next thing I came to realize is that I’m approaching this whole dating thing with the wrong attitude. I feel very impatient about the process. I want to meet my person and be done with it. When I meet someone new, inside I’m all antsy, thinking, “is this the right person, I want them to be the right person.” Then when they aren’t, I get pissed off at the universe, mostly because it hasn’t brought the right person my way yet. This impatience is keeping me from living my life as fully in the present as I could be.
The last thing I realized is that I need to throw this whole check list that resides in my head out the window. By having some expectation of who this person should be, I’m limiting the universe’s ability to bring me the very best partner for my life.
So basically, I’m being reminded of the lesson that’s come my way more than once.
Calm the fuck down and enjoy life, just as it comes.
Amen.
Can I get an AYY-MEN!?
That’s a really tough lesson and a difficult obstacle to overcome.
From reading Pinky’s blog, it seems that your generation has a generally pessimistic view of the future and an inability to develop a philosophy of hope. There do seem to be occaisional bright spots however, and you are a shining light. And damn it I do read your blog.
I know this is old, but let me tell you, that relationships are good but it’s just as fun being single. You only meet the person when you’re not looking, when you’ve given up hope, or you look like crap. 🙂 That’s the way it worked out for me.