Six weeks ago, my sweet twin boys started kindergarten. After a pandemic babyhood and a scant two mornings a week of preschool, being students for six and a half hours a day, five days a week has been a very big adjustment for them. Thankfully, it’s one that they have adjusted to at lightning speed and they are now happy swimmers in the sea of elementary school.
In many ways, it has been far more of an adjustment for me. I have been deep in the moment-by-moment parenting trenches for the last five years and their needs and activities gave shape to my daily life. I welcome the opportunity to recall how I used to fill my time before kids, but the speed with which it all happened has been a little disorienting.
One of the things that I have experienced repeatedly since becoming a parent is how a piece of equipment can go from being absolutely vital in our lives to being completely unnecessary. I remember it happening with nursing pillows, bouncy chairs, the baby bath, the bottle warmer, the activity jumper they took turns in, and the gate that kept them safely out of the kitchen.
Our stroller will most certainly be the next thing to go. It still has utility for things like the 20 minute trip to our favorite playground or fifteen minute walk to our pediatrician’s office. They had their annual check-up last week and it would have been a very frustrating walk for me if they had both been on their feet. But compared to the days when I used it every day (and sometimes twice), it is approaching obsolescence.
The other thing that I think is starting to reach the end of its usefulness for us is the item we simply refer to as The Backpack. Originally we used a purpose built diaper bag that a friend gave us at one of my showers. Once the pandemic hit, it was abandoned because we didn’t really go out or take them anywhere beyond a quick walk through the neighborhood. Then, once the vaccines arrived and the boys got old enough for daily outings to the playground, the diaper bag wasn’t quite right and so I shifted to using a black backpack I’d ordered on a whim on clearance (similar to this one).
Since then, The Backpack has been everywhere with us. It contains all the things that we needed for a happy handful of hours at the various parks and playgrounds in Center City. That includes the snack box, a plastic pencil box filled with packets of the various bars and cracker packs that the boys like. The box prevents the snacks from getting crushed, which in turn prevents fits of hangry weeping. There’s a little foldable first aid kit that we use mostly for bandaids, nail clippers, and tweezers (splinters abound!).
A pouch of cleaning tools, including baby wipes, Clorex wipes, sanitizing wipes, glasses wipes (for when a kid inevitably lands a dirty finger on my glasses), alcohol swaps (mostly used for when someone steps in gum), a roll of diaper disposal bags (occasionally used to wrap around a child’s tush to catch an emergency poop. Philadelphia doesn’t have much in the way of public bathrooms), hand sanitizer spray, and little paper packets of ibuprofen (for me).
The bag has a secret stash of Dum Dum lollipops for when spirits need lifting. A pee bottle for emergencies (see above). A large soft sided pack of tissues for the constantly dripping noses. A large zippered pouch of toy construction vehicles and a smaller one of Hot Wheels cars. A hard sided plastic case of sugar-free gum. One large muslin baby blanket that serves as a towel in case of unexpected water play or a tumble into mud. And fresh water bottles tucked into the outer side pockets.
At the very bottom of the bag, lives a soft layer of snack crumbs, broken bits of leaves the boys tried to bring home, a few precious pebbles, a thoroughly dried out baby wipe, and wheels broken off cars that were played with so hard they fell to pieces. I clean it out occasionally, but the same things always gather in the depths.
When I had this fully stocked bag with me, I felt like I could handle any parenting issue that came my way. Are you hungry? No problem! Need something to play with? We have options! Are you hurt, dirty, or sad? I can fix that. Now with the boys in school, The Backpack is mostly unnecessary and so much more is out of my control.
I haven’t dismantled it yet, but it’s days are very clearly numbered.
